Time for a Change?

---

Everyone seems to wonder why we have such a corrupt society. Every time we turn around there is someone else trying to “scam” us. It just seems like in order to keep your “head above water” in this world, you need to be manipulative, deceitful and deceptive. Why is that? Aren’t you exhausted? Trying to figure out all day long if you are being lied to? If you can trust this person? Aren’t you exhausted trying to figure out how to be “smarter” than the next guy? Isn’t it time we figured out how to become more intelligent as a society rather than “smarter” than the next guy? 

How are we creating this incredibly corrupt society of manipulation, deceit and deception? Well! It is not “astrophysics!” We are learning from our parents how to be manipulative, deceitful and deceptive through this dogma we call Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. There is absolutely nothing “magical” about this nonsense. The only reason anyone thinks it is “magical” is because every adult you loved and trusted told you that it was. Why would you trust them? They lied to you since the day you were born…. and this is how this insanity continues from generation to generation…. we trusted our lying parents for guidance and direction and they trusted their lying parents for guidance and direction. Look around…. is this serving us? It is high time we started questioning everything and got out of this mindset that our parents are our "Gods." This is why generational dysfunction continues.

If everyone were being raised by parents who exemplified being respectful, honest, kind and caring people… oh what a wonderful magical world it would be! Our “inner world” creates our “outer world.” If you are a person of faith, consult your Bible for confirmation. If you are a person of science, consult quantum entanglement for confirmation. Albert Einstein coined the term, "spooky action at a distance." It is no longer a theory. When we embody love, joy and peace in our minds and hearts without judgment, guilt, shame, anger, resentment or fear, our “outer worlds” will reflect this. This should be everybody’s goal if they truly desire peace on earth. Peace on earth begins with one human being at a time. And a great place to start creating this world is with our children. Encouraging their imaginations and playing pretend them all day long is super healthy for their impressionable open minds but lying to them and insisting that things are true when they absolutely are not true is super unhealthy and damaging to their formidable minds. It harms their critical thinking skills, comprehension skills and creativity. We are “dumbing down” our children with this dogma and confusing them. 

Unknowingly, most everyone is being raised by disrespectful, deceitful, unkind and “never-learned-how-to-care” parents. We have never seen healthy relationships! It is “alien” to us! Our parents, of course, meant well because they were taught that lying to their innocent children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy was “magical,” so this dysfunction continues through the generations. This is the very core of our generational dysfunction! Lying to anyone about anything is incredibly disrespectful and mentally and emotionally abusive. It harms both you and the one who has been lied to. When you lie to someone else this will, unbeknownst to you, create trauma in your body in the form of “guilt and shame.” Most are holding onto a lifetime of trauma that has been stored in their bodies which may manifest itself with all sorts of different diseases and disorders. We are living in the “stone ages” when it comes to medical care. There are lots of books on the subject. I would suggest Dr. Joe Dispenza’s “Supernatural.” We are incredibly powerful beings able to create our world and heal ourselves. This ancient wisdom is being hidden from us by way of confusion. It is high time we evolved and opened up our hearts and minds to a better way! The day our children find out Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are not real is the day they face the brutal truth that they are not worthy of respect even from their own parents. It also traumatizes them when they face the brutal truth that they are living in a "world full of liars" and they cannot trust anyone! They will carry this around in their subconscious minds and it will affect their relationships for the rest of their lives. 

Hardly anyone is learning to be consciously aware of themselves to be honest. Most are operating on “auto-pilot” just saying whatever serves them best at the time or just "protecting themselves" out of fear.  I’m not condemning anyone for this behavior. It took me being accused of all sorts of things that I was not doing to make a conscious choice to be honest all the time. There simply is very little, if any, trust in this world because nobody is learning to be consciously honest. It is like we have all become sort of “pinballs in a pinball machine” without anyone learning to be consciously aware of their own behavior. If everyone were consciously aware of their own behavior and taking responsibility for themselves, oh what a wonderful world it would be!
 

I promise you if people were learning to be consciously honest, their lives would not result in a state of confusion by the end in the form of “Alzheimer’s” or “Dementia." I’m sure all the lies they have endured in their lives is contributing to their confusion as well. If most everything that comes out of your mouth throughout your life is honest…. you simply would not end up in a state of confusion by the end of it. I believe everybody knows that the more honest you are, the better your memory is. If everyone was living in the “here and now” as Eckart Tolle explains and being consciously honest and taking responsibility for their own behavior, oh what a wonderful world it would be! There are several books on the subject that mention miraculous synchronicities. I have had many myself. How do you get there? You focus on your “moral compass” so your conscience is clear. You find your authentic self and have faith in the universe to guide you to your highest and best good. You trust your intuition and pay attention to the world around you. All the world is your teacher.... start listening and learning and growing as a person to become your highest and best self. Our children are getting a "raw deal" right out of the gate when their parents are not exemplifying any sort of morality. 

The more physical, mental and emotional abuse you have endured in your lifetime without learning to heal from it, the less respect you will have for people and the less you will be able to truly care about people. This is just common sense. If your own parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles lied to you from the day you were born practically, how are you supposed to trust anyone ever again? How can you let yourself be that vulnerable ever again? You were humiliated by the very people you trusted and loved. This is our first and worst major “betrayal trauma.” We have all heard that your first heartbreak is the hardest, well this is it… at 7 to 8 years old when you discovered everybody you loved and trusted lied to you. It hardens you, it creates a life of protecting yourself rather than truly being able to care about people. It turns us all into “bullies on the playground” calling each other names and belittling each other. What if we are were learning to lift each other up and complimenting each other instead of putting each other down? Oh what a wonderful world it would be!

Unfortunately, since it is usually our family members and romantic connections that are the ones that have contributed the most to our trauma, is why we have so many broken homes and domestic violence. We have pretty much been put in a state of “fight or flight” since the day we discovered we are living in a “world full of liars” thanks to this dogma that continues from generation to generation. If you haven’t noticed, it is a whole lot easier to have a respectful conversation with a stranger than it is with our own family members. Why? Because they are the face of our trauma. When someone has traumatized you, it becomes incredibly difficult to listen to them, trust them and treat them with any respect. In turn, if you were the one “dishing out” the trauma by lying or disrespecting them, you have a hard time looking at them because it just reminds you or your “guilt and shame.” Our subconscious minds have a great memory. 

It is high time we started acknowledging our emotions. We have them for a reason. They are our “moral compass” helping us to discern right from wrong. In essence, the more we are able to take responsibility for our own behavior instead of this incessant “blame game” that is going on with everyone pointing their fingers at everyone else, the more peaceful and easy our lives will become and we can start “expecting the best” instead of “bracing ourselves for the worst.” Of course nobody is perfect. You do your best to take responsibility for your own behavior and “do no harm” but life is a journey. If you falter, forgive yourself and, if appropriate, ask for forgiveness and move on and try to do better next time. But holding onto any “guilt or shame” harms not only you but nearly everybody else you encounter. It might be helpful at this point to create a list of respectful vs. disrespectful behaviors.

Behavior

  Respectful

    Honesty

    Kindness

    Listening

    Empathizing/Caring

    Complimenting

    Understanding

    Speaking calmly

  Disrespectful

    Lying/Betrayal

    Cruelty/Physical abuse

    Ignoring

    Not caring

    Criticizing/Name calling/Laughing at someone

    No effort in understanding

    Screaming

Respectful behavior comes from a peaceful person. Disrespectful behavior comes from a traumatized person who has not felt listened to or understood. They are attempting to “protect themselves.” When a child comes to the brutal truth at 7 to 8 years old, that they have been lied to by every adult they ever loved and trusted for guidance about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, they are traumatized. They have been disrespected, mentally and emotionally abused for the first years of their lives. Imagine if you just found out that your spouse who you loved, trusted and adored had been lying to you for the past 7 to 8 years, you would be absolutely traumatized and feel incredibly betrayed. The only difference is, our young children are still learning about their world so instead of being able to verbalize their tremendous betrayal, they internalize this trauma and become sort of “brainwashed” to believe this mental and emotional abuse is “magical” since every adult they loved and trusted told them that it was. Why should you trust them? They lied to you since the day you were born. Just because this has been “normalized,” doesn’t make it “sane.”

Since it is very difficult for a traumatized person to be able to listen and understand, this child could have all sorts of difficulties from ADD, ADHD, comprehension problems and learning disabilities. We may think we are “all fine” but how do we know if we have nothing to compare it to? Virtually none of us were raised by respectful, honest, kind and caring parents who listened to us, tried to understand us and empathize with us. They were traumatized a very long time ago by their parents. Instead, they attempt to control us and punish us when we behave badly not even recognizing how badly they are behaving. They have disrespected us and mentally and emotionally abused us since practically the day we were born. 

So now that we have made a list of respectful and disrespectful behaviors, let us now make a list of healthy and unhealthy emotions. 

Emotions

  Healthy

    Love

    Peace

    Joy

    Forgiveness

    Gratitude

    Appreciation

  Unhealthy

    Fear

    Sorrow

    Anger

    Judgment

    Humiliation/Embarrassment

    Shame/Guilt

So how do we get to this beautiful place of our “inner world” full of love, peace, joy, forgiveness and gratitude? Forgiveness is a whole lot easier when you realize “hurt and traumatized” people will “hurt and traumatize.” The more someone has hurt us, the more traumatized they have been not necessarily by us but by anyone from their past. Karma is real. You are not your story. The goal is to find that beautiful inner child full of love and authenticity that you were meant to be before entering this society full of chaos and confusion. Love yourself, believe in yourself and forgive yourself most of all. None of us are perfect, absolutely every single one of us have exhibited disrespectful or embarrassing behavior and felt the emotions to go along with it. Forgive yourself, let it go. Stop blaming yourself for the day you felt incredibly humiliated…. stop letting it haunt you. I’ve been there…. recalling something I had done and being horrified for years to come. We’ve all been there. Let it go. They are not thinking about what you did. They are thinking about what they did. The rest of your life starts today. Live the "here and now."

Don’t worry about people judging you, the goal is unconditional love and if they are judging you, they have not arrived at finding their beautiful authentic selves. Self-love also involves boundaries. If you are feeling disrespected by someone, love yourself and explain your point of view. If your emotions are telling you that you are being treated like a “doormat,” trust them. Explain your point of view and if they don’t get it, it might be time to just let them go. Nobody should ever have to endure any ongoing disrespect. 

Here is one way to look at our society as a whole, the more traumatized someone has been in their lives, the less consciously aware they will be of their behavior so they will just sort of run around unconsciously continuing to hurt people. The less trauma people have endured or the more healing they have done, the more consciously aware they will be of their own behavior and instead will run around spreading love, peace and joy. But until we take the first step at breaking the cycle and healing ourselves, generational dysfunction will continue and it will continue to get worse and worse with horrifying things manifesting in our society such as suicides, overdoses, alcoholism, diseases, disorders, mass shootings, etc. 

It is all about respect. Respect yourself and respect everyone else. It is not “astrophysics” and a good place to start is with our children. They are our future. Empathize with them, be honest with them, listen to them and care about them. They are not play toys. They are people too. Please help me spread the word! I have car magnets and t-shirts for sale and donations would be appreciated. There are many people to reach. Let's evolve and create a better world together! I would love to hear from you! Please reach out to me at santaisretiring@gmail.com.